The minute you let a pet into you life you know this day will come but you don't know when. I had scooped her up from a colony of feral cats living nearby in a state park. I picked the calico because she was pregnant and Odessa because I strongly suspected she was her mother or a least her aunt. The year was 2001 and my own mother has just died. That brought the count up to three cats, a nice normal number.
Today I had to put her down. It is a surreal process. Having done this before made it easier. Having had both parents and a brother die reframed the perspective. Knowing that I had brought her in to live an easier albeit more confined life helped.
How we deal with loss says a lot about us. I think I lived avoiding loss for a long time. I now see that cheated me out of things and people I truly would have enjoyed had the fear of loss not overshadowed the potential of joy. So in this moment I am surprisingly OK. In this moment....
I have jokingly said that the reason God did not make dogs and cats to live as long as parrots is that no one would get married. Each pet comes into our lives to help us through the time we have together. How lonely a journey it would be without them.
Miss you my Dessabella.