For as far back as I can remember, I have always loved music and singing. For some reason I could never let myself relax and sing in pubic. For years I would go to Chick and Ellen's music parties and go home, kicking myself with no note solo sung. I did start sitting closer and closer to the middle of the room where all the action began. As my knowledge of the lyrics and melodies increased, I sang more often and louder. Sheila Jones approached me and said she was getting a group of woman together to just sing for fun. We'd do doo wop, oldies and Christmas carols when the time came. My love for the material pushed me past my fear. Each time I went to the bathroom I imagined a conversation that went something like, "Well, she's not very good. Who wants to tell her?" By then I knew enough to know I was thinking down a road that did not exist. (a belated thank you to all my therapists)
Over time, I discovered that singing was a natural antidepressant no matter how lacking in confidence I might feel. Was that due to the extra oxygen? The camaraderie of the group?
I just knew I had to find an on-going singing group. Enter "Three Sheets to the Wind". Loosely steered by Peter and Joanne Sousa, the group meets most Tuesday nights at Cameron's for singing and pizza. The rules are loose. I guess it boils down to waiting until the current song is finished and keeping the songs sea-oriented. First I joined in on the easily learned choruses. Depending on who I was sitting near, I took notice of the harmonies and experimented with some myself. I felt like one tine on a giant tuning fork. It felt great! But I wanted to contribute more to the group and that demanded learning my "own song" Enter the Johnson Girls , a woman's A Capella group that does sea shanties. Here was a whole CD of songs that I liked enough to learn.
Because of Peter and Joanne's association with the Schooner Adventure, the group sings publicly to foster awareness for both the Adventure and the music. The group was singing at Rockport's New Years Eve celebration. As one of my New Year's resolutions was to be more daring in my creativity, I knew I had to pick a song and just do it. I had to just focus on "doing" and let go of the "great" part. And I did just that. My level of nervousness was much less than the level of self-recrimination I knew I would feel if I didn't sing. Now I have to let go the image of the group needing a hook to get me off stage next year.
Blog (and sing) On!