About three and a half years ago I was so stuck in my life. I had felt that way for sometime but could not figure out how to get free. I had known Maureen for about fifteen years and heard she was looking for a place to move to. Although I had never had a female housemate, the timing made it seem like a good solution all around.
I had always thought that until you could live alone and truly enjoy your own company, you were not an adult. I now believe that my stuckness was that result of living alone too long. Too long being able to go out into the world for brief stints that never loosened my social mask. Living with someone means that eventually someone gets to see the real you. I can now say with great relief that I bless Maureen for not taking a picture of me for this blog when I had fallen asleep. Many times I would drift off fully clothed, (yet under the covers) during a crime drama marathon, the finished bowl of popcorn still balanced on my stomach, several cats draped over me like the clocks in the famous Salvatore Dali painting. I would like to think that were the situation reversed I would have the same sense of fair play.
I developed the oddest behavior. I have no idea where it came from. I always asked her opinion of the outfit I had on before I left. Truthfully, sometimes she asked me to change.
About a month ago she found a wonderful job and apartment. So now I am here alone. I loved living alone before so I had no problem with the transition. But I have learned allot about myself. Things you can't learn unless you bump against yourself and know you are being watched. I have heard it said that just having an observer changes the outcome of an experiment. I feel that is true. What I know with certainty is that I was stuck before and I am more creative now than I have ever been. I now know that I am a flexible person.
So that is the reason for the singular "Freak" in the blog title. I just thought it should be explained.