Jon Wind, December 20, 1956- March 4, 2008

 Four years today.  You steel yourself for the expected loss of a mother or father but not for a younger sibling.  It was a huge disconnect between what I had envisioned/hoped for and what came to be. It made me know at a ground zero level the difference of the power of now and the piss poor  power of someday. Even if someday is tomorrow.
  So much of the betterment of my life today is due to my rethinking my life juxtaposed to the loss of Jon. Gone was the option of those years of building a healthier relationship. But my own options were viable and supercharged with my new perspective. I began making change after change like someone who discovers they have a superpower, at first with extreme caution and then with a growing boldness as I saw the happier results and learned to trust myself.  Doing things perfectly mattered less than the fact that I did it. And "did" always wins over "might do".
 Miss your Jon.
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